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Saturday 13 October 2012

Is it a reward or a bribe?

It is becoming more and more prevalent these days that parents feel in order for the children to perform or carry out a task we need to offer an "incentive". The free will approach seems to be disappearing and that everything must have a clearcut material response to every task . The question is then why does this need to be and why do we rather not encourage an environment of willing participation. What has happened to the good old hug and kiss and a big thank you.That is all that it should take to encourage a child to carry out the task .However it is the constant conditioning that "If you do that , then I will buy you or give .... " approach that can begin to get out of have hand as the reward so often outweighs the actual task. Lets be aware that the size of the incentive can start running away and become an obsession for both parent and child.In other words we start holding each other to ransom. I would think that it is not such a sobering thought after all. Maybe lets revert for all to the old hugs and kisses and just a big "Thank you " and a "Well done " Till next time.....Solutioncoach

Friday 5 October 2012

How to motivate your teenage child

I have no doubt that this is a huge topic amongst parents who are continually looking at ways to motivate their children into upping their performance. So then if this is the case then why is it such a huge struggle for parents to employ workable "tactics" to reduce that ever present stress level. I pose the question to all parents to consider reflection and examine the proposition "How did I handle that situation?" The fundamental strategy is NOT to create a power struggle with the teenager. This creates animosity and a quest for the upper hand.Then the battle begins with "You see I told you " and "Don't you ever listen to me?" I suggest that a fixed time family meeting is arranged and issues discussed coupled with a positive learning strategy . This can include time management skills and a basic task programme which will create responsibility rather than a chore. In fact these coping strategies will assist with exam time organization and homework focus. Forget the power struggle and discuss and rather re-affirm all the positive attributes of holding these informal but productive family interventions. Till next time.... Solutioncoach